What I Know For Sure....

Hello friends,

I guess I've been on quite the hiatus from this blog.  Approximately nine months.  It's not something I intended or purposely took a break from, but as they say, "life has a way of getting in the way of things".  Or something like that.  I always hated when people said that.  It always seemed like a cop out or excuse, which really it is...  But it seems to have become my reality.  Anyway, much has transpired since the last time I posted.  I quit my job.  Academia is no longer the back drop of my daily life.  Some family stuff has occurred.  Not really the forum to share it, but it's def been a big shift in our lives.  I am also six months pregnant!  I found out I'm having a girl!  And, I am officially a full-time stay at home mom.  It's been great (for the most part).
Anyway, even though I haven't been on the blog, I have thought of it often.  I always have thoughts, comments or post ideas running through my brain.  Unfortunately I haven't found the time to actually sit down and type them.  Perhaps I just haven't felt like it, if I'm truly honest.  Writing on this blog has sort of been put on the back burner.  I still have ever intention of becoming a famous author ;)  But right now when I get an idea for my books, I just write it in my journal.  I haven't felt the need to exercise my writing muscle in a public forum.  Perhaps this was never really my forte.  It was something I needed at a certain point in my life, but doesn't seem to help my mission or goals at this point in time.  Anyway, I'm rambling.
I actually did come here  today with a purpose.  I need some catharsis.  A place to share some things that have been consuming my mind lately.  What I know for sure....So, without further ado....

1.  It is never acceptable to comment on a woman's body, even when she is pregnant.  I find that people think that once you are pregnant they have license to comment on your ever changing appearance.  For some reason they think it's suddenly acceptable to say things like "wow, you look pregnant now", "oh my, you've popped", "oh my, now you've really popped", "gee, you look way more pregnant than you did last week, are you having twins?", etc.  Pregnancy is an emotional and sometimes tumultuous time to begin with.  Pregnant women don't need others making them feel any more insecure or self-conscious.  I don't care if you are a relative, good friend, spouse, or the president of the United States, DON'T COMMENT ON A WOMAN'S BODY!  And definitely don't touch her stomach!

2.  Don't be a back seat parent.  What do I mean by this?  It's akin to being a backseat driver.  It's offering unsolicited advice to a parent and or going as far as parenting a child that is not your own.  Especially while that child's parent is actually in the room.  If I am in the room, I don't need you to take on the role of parent to my child.  You don't need to tell them when to say please and thank you, you don't need to try to rid them of their pacifier habit, you don't have to tell them how to behave.  I am there, I will do it.  Please give me enough time to actually do so.
If I'm not in the room, then by all means, please steer my child in the right direction and help them decipher right from wrong.  However, if one of the parents is there, it's not your job or responsibility.  I don't care if you are the grandparent, aunt, uncle, neighbor, etc.  Stop trying to parent other peoples children.  Also, only dole out parenting advice if someone asks you for it.  I have no pride in that realm.  If I think I need help, I'll ask and believe me I have.  I am more than willing to learn and hear from other parents.  But I don't want unsolicited advice that 9 times out of 10 is pure crap anyway.

3.  It is never acceptable to yell and swear at an elderly woman.  Even if she called me an ethnic slur.  My apologies to her and the universe for my poor behavior.  I am an ever evolving human being and will work harder in the future to keep my rage in line.  Not my proudest moment, but a learning moment nonetheless.

4.  Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia scares the crap out of me.  Enough said.

5.  Ignorance is not an excuse for poor behavior.  I'm sick of hearing that some people cannot be responsible for their despicable words and actions because they don't know any better.  This was something I encountered frequently in academia and also something I experience from day to day.
 If you act like a jerk, talk like a jerk and are a jerk most of the time, I think there has to be some sort of accountability. I don't care that you aren't used to interacting with people, I don't care that you're lacking social skills, I don't care that you are oblivious that your comments are hurtful.  Bottom line is, you have to be held to some sort of standard.  You can't go around saying remarkably hurtful or insulting things and expect it to be all right just because you supposedly aren't aware that your comments are in poor taste.  Wake up, get a clue.  I will hold myself to this standard and so should you!  Also, I was aware my comments to the elderly lady were not acceptable.  I am not pleading ignorance.  I am responsible for my bad behavior.  Though, she was a bitch.

6.  Don't finish your sentence if it starts with "no offense".  Ninety-nine percent of the time the statement will be offensive to the person you are speaking to.

7.  I love my family.  My husband and children are the best things that have ever happened to me.  They may frustrate me some of the time, but they also bring sheer joy to my life.  So, I don't mind that maybe my blog and or writing might be a little lacking lately.  I am busy enjoying the precious time that goes by all too quickly with my kids and husband.  I really feel so lucky to have them in my life and wouldn't change any of it, this I know for sure!

xoxoxoxo- Jess

Basia Bulat and notes...

Can't stop listening to...Tall Tall Shadow

Also, some new poetry is on it's way.  Deciding whether or not to just post here or submit to journal.  Perhaps I would prefer to just post.  The sound of silence is killing me.  Ok, it's not killing me, but for now this blog may be my chosen form of publication.  My only audience.
I can't stand the rejection in the form of silence that I've received from journals and agents.  Oh well.  Keep on trucking as they say.

But, I feel a turning of the tides... Can't pinpoint it, but there are so many changes underway and I think there will be some major changes in regards to my writing.