Hiatus

Hello to my very few readers!  Sorry I have been on quite the hiatus lately.  Reason being....

1.  I was on a nine day cruise.  Where did I go, you ask...  To the seventh circle of hell.  That may be a future post but for now I'm still recovering from the nightmare...

2.  I've been in a funk.  For various reasons I've had no motivation to do anything.  Well, except for watch Lifetime Christmas movies and play with my kids.

3.  I'm getting things straight in my head and planning some next step/big things.  I really want to revamp/expand my blog and also I'm working on getting a side buisness up and going.  Can't share all the details at the moment, but I'll keep you posted, I promise!

Writing updates:

Never heard back from the initial agents I queried, so I sent out two more query letters yesterday.  Keep your fingers crossed.  I can't wait to be a famous author who humbly recounts her rejection stories!!!!  Just hope I don't have to survive too many rejections...

In Favor of Santa

The other day my co-worker and I were engaged in typical, everyday sort of conversation.  He asked about my kids and I recounted a story about my morning.  I shared that I had a discussion about Santa Claus with my two-year old son.   I told my colleague that I was trying to build up some excitement and hype for Santa, since the holidays will soon be upon us.  When I was done telling my story, my colleague, in a deadpan tone said "so, you're going to tell your kids about Santa?"
At first I didn't understand his question.... With a blank look, I asked "What do you mean?"
What ensued was a slightly dicey conversation about the merits and pitfalls of teaching kids about Santa and imparting on them a"deep rooted" lie.  My colleague is concerned about the disillusionment that the belief in Santa might breed.  He also grapples with the idea that we as parents are supposed to be 100% honest with our kids and that perpetuating the Santa myth is at odds with this practice.

In truth, had I not had this conversation with my colleague, I don't think I would have ever questioned speaking to my kids about Santa.  Santa to me is an important and magical part of the holidays and a tradition I hold dear.  It is something I will certainly pass on to my children.  But, our convo did spark some introspection and made me address why I feel Santa is so important.  So, without further ado, this is why I am strongly in favor of "perpetuating the lie" and celebrating Santa with my kids.

There are few times/periods in our lives when we have the opportunity to believe in something as magical, jovial and whimsical as Santa Claus.  When you truly believe in Santa, you believe in all that is wonderful in the world.  You believe ANYTHING is possible.  It seems hokie, but I struggle to equate anything else in life to it.  Even though it's such a short period in time when you actually believe, there is little that measures up to that feeling.  Some of my best memories are of leaving cookies for Santa on Christmas Eve, racing home on Christmas eve from our relatives house so that we could get to bed before he arrived, etc. etc.  I distinctly remember one Christmas Eve coming home from my Grandma's house and I honestly thought I saw Santa flying in the sky.  In retrospect I realize it was most likely a taillight on an airplane, but boy was I excited!  I really feel that are literally no words that can sum up the anticipation, excitement and frivolity that believing in Santa elicits.

There's so much crap in the world and kids are exposed to the harshness of reality pretty early on.   I think it's nice if we can pass along just a few carefree and magical (be it naive) traditions.  I also whole-heartedly feel that believing in Santa for whatever little time it may be, far outweighs the disappointment of finding out the truth about him.

It's absolutely true that Christmas has become over commercialized, but I think within our own families we can monitor how much stock we put into it.  Even if you don't want to get wrapped up in all the commercial hype, you can still sustain the idea of Santa in a more traditional and low-key manner.

I've honestly been racking my brain to think of an adult feeling that is equivalent to or rivals the excitement and wonder that kids feel in regards to Santa.  The only thing I can come up with is love... Now some naysayers think love is a sham and I think we could all agree that it can be a giant source of disillusionment.  Nevertheless, most of us haven't' given up on it yet.  So maybe that should be our take away with Santa.  The high and excitement may eventually dissipate, and kids may even feel a bit sad when they find out the truth, but I would say it's better to have believed in Santa and then find out the truth, than to never have known him at all.

* Disclaimer:  My joy about Santa has nothing to do with the religious aspect of Christmas.  I put them in two separate categories and therefore there is no need for reminders such as "Put the Christ back in Christmas, he's the reason for the season..."  Thanks!

I Watch Scandal

Houston, we have a problem....What should one do when his or her two-year old is obsessed with the ABC hit drama, Scandal????

Ok, I understand that some people may nominate me for the "Worst Mom of the Year Award", but I swear to you that I am not actually watching Scandal with my two-year old son.  You see, my husband and I recently became fans of the show.  We sort of overdosed on it by watching the first two Seasons rapid fire on Netflix   This way we could catch up in time for the start of Season 3.  Although we never watched the show in front of our son, I guess we discuss it often when he is in earshot. Let me tell you folks, if you think your kids aren't listening to what you say, you are dead wrong. So we discuss it on a pretty frequent basis and little ears must be perking up each time that we do. Now on any given day and out of the blue our little guy will say "I watch Scandal?".  The first time he said it we sort of giggled and shook our heads in the "kids say the darndest things" sort of way...  But, then he started asking for it on a more regular basis.  He now requests to see Scandal more than he asks to watch Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, sigh.....Any time the  TV switches on in his presence, he's first inclination is to announce "That's not Scandal".  Ofcourse it's not Scandal, kid, you're TWO!  You shouldn't be watching it.  You don't even know what it is...

Our new approach is to spell out the name of the show when we want to discuss it "Can you believe what Olivia did on S-C-A-N-D-A-L last night?"
Except now he knows what we are spelling.  I kid you not.... When we spell it out, his response..."I like Scandal!"  How is this possible?  I thought we would have the luxury of spelling things in front of the little ones until they were at least 7 years old.  What the heck?!

Now I cringe when anyone mentions TV in general or dare I say, they mention Scandal by name.  I just know that at any given moment he might say that he watches it or that he likes it. Thank god he doesn't go to school yet.  Lord knows what the teachers might think of us if he tells the little tots that his favorite tv show is Scandal.  I can imagine we would receive a knock on the door from DCYF.

Anyway, the moral of my story is that kids are listening.  They are on alert and they tend to harp on the things you definitely wouldn't want them to.  I know my son is seemingly wise beyond his years, but this is a bit extreme.  So, for now on I will keep discussion of my favorite shows to a minimum and keep young eyes and ears away from the tellie. 

Ode to Childhood

 
There are some days when I miss my youth.  I miss the silly antics, the innocence and the pure fun of it all.  I also miss getting away with certain behaviors that just don’t fly now that I’m an adult… So here’ s my list of things that I either miss from childhood and some things that I wish were still acceptable.

1.  Being Fat.  Every body loves a chubby baby or little kid.  At what age does fat go from being adorable to flat out condemnable? When does your cute, little pooch suddenly become muffin top?  When do chubby cheeks become jowls? At one time my extra chub was charming (or so my mom told me), now it’s just loathsome.  How I long for the days when chub was cherished!

2.  Playing With Barbies.  As a child, I spent countless hours playing with my twenty-plus Barbies and one Allan* doll. Clearly my Barbies were subjected to brothel-like living conditions.  Nevertheless, it was so much fun creating drama for the gals, having them go on trips, and getting them gussied up for parties.  Life in the Barbie Dream House seemed, well dreamy!  Playing make believe with those dolls and conjuring up convoluted story lines fed my creative instinct in a way that no other game or toy did.  Now a days there's so much over analysis about Barbie’s lady bits, what she means to feminism, etc. etc.  It totally sucks the pleasure out of Barbies and it seems like no one is playing with them anymore.  It’s really a shame.  I don't really want to play with Barbies anymore, but I do feel nostalgic for those make-believe, escape from reality type of outlets.  I guess I’ll just have to settle for watching trash TV…

3.  Hula Hooping. I love hula hooping.  Always have. As a child I devoted countless hours to hula hooping in my driveway with my mom's hula-hoop from the 60s (as I write this, I realize it's shocking that I had any friends).  It was so much fun.  Giggle yourself silly sort of fun.  Wild abandon fun.  It was such a challenge to see how long I could keep it going without it falling to the ground. I was quite adept at spinning it around my knees for several rotations.  Anyway, I wish it wouldn't be totally weird for a 31 year-old mother of two to go outside on a sunny day and hula-hoop in her driveway.  Weird neighbor award???  That one would belong to me!

4.  Twice A Day Naps. Since becoming a parent I've become obsessed with my childrens’ nap schedules.  I read about sleep habits, analyze nap routines, labor over sleep begetting sleep, and all the while, my sons don’t want to nap.  They hate it.  But it's been hammered into our collective heads that two naps a day are extremely important to the development of little kids and quite frankly, they just don't appreciate it.  They have no idea how glorious these scheduled times for shut-eye actually are.  I know I didn't realize it as a child.  And to be honest, I'm not so sure children actually need it. Myself on the other hand, I NEED A NAP! And two-a-day would be stupendous.  Naps are lost on the young.  It's us oldies that need the extra shut-eye.  Nap rooms in the office?  Now that's what I'm talking about.

*Allan was Ken’s friend in the 60’s.


___________________________________________

What sorts of things do you miss from childhood???

Updates

• It is now October 23rd and "Shoeless Boy" is still without shoes. Rationally I know I shouldn't care, but for some reason it deeply perturbs me.  I am currently willing myself not to be bothered.... It's a process...I can't promise that next time I see him that I won't confront him and his shoeless feet.  Dear God, grant me the strength I need to keep my mouth shut!

• So, although I'm still going to submit my writing directly to publishers , I decided to submit to an agent as well.  The first query letter may not win me any fans because as soon as I hit send I noticed an error.  They explicitly say to send only your finest and polished pieces and I sent in something with a comma instead of a period.  #rookiemistake #igreatlydislikebutdonthatehashtags

• Currently reading The World According to Garp and I don't like it.  Is this one of those books that I won't appreciate until the very end? 

• Read latest short story by Haruki Murakami, Samsa in Love. Wasn't too impressed...  Am I missing the appeal?  Perhaps it' because I never read Metamorphosis and really have no desire to..   Though... I did like this part: 
• “If you think of someone enough, you’re sure to meet them again,” she said in parting. This time there was real warmth in her voice."

• Submitted two articles to Tue/Night and I'm sending in some poetry to  The Sun Magazine today. Can we do some collective finger crossing?

To Find an Agent or Not?

Hello friends,

So, something I've been thinking about alot lately is whether or not it  I should attempt to get a literary agent or if I should continue down the unsolicited submissions path.  I've read articles about both options and I'm still not sure what's the best way to go.  There are clearly pros and cons to both.
It's definitely a crap shoot for me to send in submissions on my own and finding publishing houses that still accept unsolicited submissions is definitely difficult.  Though, I don't know that it will prove more difficult than actually reaching a legitimate agent that will want to work with me and also have my best interest in mind.  I know that there are alot of crappy agents out there that aren't very reputable.

Any readers out there that happen to have some insight?  If so, let me know.

For now I think I'm going to continue forward with sending in some query letters and unsolicited manuscripts to the few publishers that are willing to accept them and that I feel would be a good match for my stories.  I'll let you know how I make out...
Keep your fingers crossed that I will soon be signing a book deal!  A girl can dream, can't she?

National Go Bonkers Day

Have you ever been asked if you are having twins when you are in fact only carrying one child?  Has a homeless person lifting weights in Walmart ever remarked that you're fat?  Are you sick of your doctor keeping you in the waiting room for hours without a shred of apology once he/she sees you, but then he/she charges you an exorbitant fee if you need to cancel an appointment?  Has your neighbor ever hit your car and then scolded you because they think you shouldn't park in the street?  Have you ever been asked by a colleague if you know the way to the local planned parenthood when you announce that you are pregnant with your second child (apparently he/she felt that you were procreating at too rapid a rate)?  Are you sick and tired of your pathetic government acting like a bunch of pompous, whiny, self righteous a-holes?  Do you just sometimes feel like you adhere to some unspoken social and communication code that no one else seems to follow anymore?

If you can relate to any of the above scenarios, I am sorry and I hereby introduce to you National Go Bonkers Day.  What is National Go Bonkers Day?  It's a day for those of us who try to be kind, sensitive, empathetic and considerate to do the exact opposite.  It's a chance for us to  absolutely lose our minds and behave in the off color, insensitive manner that other people behave on a regular basis.  It's time to let loose, speak your mind and go absolutely bat-shit looney!

Tell your colleague who complains that the toilet paper roll dispenses toilet paper too slowly and is a "complete waste of time",  that she is down right pathetic, self important and a horrible example of a human being.  Tell your cantankerous and nasty neighbor to go fly a kite.  Write a scathing letter to your congressman to express your deep disappointment with his or her behavior and that you find them to be a loathsome creature.  Deliver an emotional and provocative monologue on anything that is causing you angst.  Feel free to deliver said speech standing atop a milk crate in the center of your street or record it and upload it to YouTube.  Whatever it is that is bothering you, let it out and let it out in a big way.  GO BONKERS!

Some Go Bonkers forefathers that we should glean inspiration from:

• Steven Slater- former flight attendant for jet blue who quit his job in an over the top way
• Jerry Maguire- fictional sports agent who has a moral epiphany and expresses it
• Marina Shifrin- quit her job in a very public Youtube video.  Awesome.
• Chris Christie- I don't always agree with him or his politics, be he knows when to give a stern talking to or to call people out for their BS

Let me know who else should be added to list!  Maybe it will be YOU.

Things that make you go hmmm....

We all know the adage, "money can't buy you happiness". But there are two sides to that coin.  I came across this flyer the other day and it 1. made me smile and 2. got me thinking.
Money can definitely make life a little easier and perhaps give you the means to do the things you love.  But we certainly don't want to kill ourselves making said money in order to hopefully see our dreams come to fruition.  Thoughts? What makes you happy?  Does money influence that?

Contest Bust

I would be remiss if I didn't share my downs with you in addition to my ups.  As I mentioned in an earlier post, I entered a writing contest with a piece of speculative fiction.  Though it was my first foray in writing a piece of speculative fiction, I was quite excited about the prospect and pretty happy with my results. Though if I'm truly honest with myself, I think my completed story would be considered speculative fiction in the loosest sense of the genre.  Ok, it was a stretch at best...

Well, yesterday they announced the winners and I was not one of them, womp womp...  I think I knew deep down that I wasn't going to win.  But for whatever reason, I was eager to hear the results and thought perhaps there was a minute chance that I could at least get second or third place.  It's like when you buy a lottery ticket and you rationally know that you are not going to win, but somewhere in the depths of your being you think if you long hard enough and wish strongly enough, that maybe it will happen.  It never does.

Anyway, I guess i just really wanted some validation that someone is willing to actually publish something of mine.  I've been having a bit of a "down" week and I've been riddled with self-doubt.  Obviously I know this journey isn't going to be easy, but I was just hoping for a bit of a silver lining.

Yesterday I was super down in the dumps about the whole thing, but today I must brush myself off and pick myself up and look for a new writing contest.  I also need to actively try to find a children's book publisher.  I've been slacking lately and I need to get back on track.
So, that's my news for now.  I'm going to keep chugging along and see what happens.

OPEN LETTER TO THE SHOELESS BOY ABOUT CAMPUS

Dear Shoeless Boy,

I tried to keep quiet.  I told myself not to be judgmental.  I've wracked my brain for various, viable reasons why you insist upon walking around campus shoeless.  But I can't seem to conjure up any sufficient explanations. So, I will now speak my mind.  I'm sick of being subjected to your dirty, shoeless feet!  I find it to be repulsive, vulgar, and unsanitary.

It's fall, not summer.  We are in a city, not at the beach or in the country. I've contemplated that perhaps you are short on funds, but it's hard to imagine that you came to this University and aren't able to afford at least one pair of shoes.  Plus, the university community here is more than willing to help out a person in need.  I'm sure they would have offered you a pair of shoes by now if you couldn't afford them yourself.  Even the homeless people around town have shoes.  So, I  must deduce that your shoelessness is a choice.  I imagine it's some sort of "statement" or lifestyle declaration. But what could you possibly be declaring?  That you are one with nature?  That you want to have thick soles?  That shoes are a manifestation of everything that is wrong with society?  That shoes are a first world luxury?  WHAT ARE YOU TELLING US???

From what I can gather you are telling us that you are a magnet for germs and a potential candidate for hepatitis c (believe me, I've seen needles on the sidewalks around here).  And therefore I feel that it's my duty to tell you to put some shoes on.  You may think you're an eccentric or that you're sending off some cool, hippie vibe.  Perhaps you just enjoy the freedom of being barefoot. Nevertheless, you are also subjecting others to unnecessary and unsavory interactions with your grubby feet.  So, please do us all a favor and put some shoes on and kindly remember the wise old adage:  No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service!

Stuck

It’s terror, he said
And this stuck in my head
Because I finally new the difference
between living and surviving

But I can’t seem to quit
This repetitive shit
And I know this disease is continually thriving

Still, I can’t hit pause
Or unfurl it’s claws
from the grasp it has on my brain

So I pray and I weep
For some respite or sleep
And hope that someday
I’ll be fine 

Poetry: 1 Serious, 1 Silly

Brain Burn

I want to burn my brain
char the chinks in the matter
melt my thoughts and
reduce them to marshmallow mush
oozing, goopy and dripping
turn my poisoned perceptions to ash
until I find relief



I Don't Get You*

I'm confused by your irony
I despise your inspired,
perplexed by your ambiguous high five
I hate your quinoa and kale
and all your found pieces
Your sustainability is insufferable
I'm befuddled by your ethos
I resent your exclusivity shrouded in aloofness
I want my fanny pack back!

* I wrote this before my epiphany regarding the usage of the word hate.

Forms & Genres: Navigating the Literary Buffet

I've always enjoyed reading different writing forms and genres.  I appreciate fiction and nonfiction.  Drama, comedy, romance, young adult, chick lit, poetry, children's classics, distopian lit, biographies, EVERYTHING!  Not only do I enjoy reading a wide variety of literature, but I've also always enjoyed writing different literary forms.  In the past I've focused on writing poetry, essays and humor.  I've also always enjoyed writing song lyrics.  This is somewhat strange since I don't play an instrument or sing.  I guess it's really just poetry that I envision would be good as songs.

However, now that I'm newly dedicating myself to my writing pursuits, I feel like I just don't know what avenue to pursue as far as my writing is concerned.  I feel like I'm standing in front of  a glorious literary buffet and I am ravenous for each and every morsel in front of me.  I have children's book ideas, novel outlines, backlogs of poetry and newly penned short stories.  I guess I'm struggling to decide what genre to really hone in on.  I almost feel like I've been in a coma for years and now that I am newly awake I want to pursue anything and everything!  And really, that's what I've been doing so far.  In just the past couple of months I've written three new poems, a short story, two children's books and an article.  They have all been of strong interest to me and close to my heart.  Though, I will say the short story was a foray into a very unknown territory:  speculative fiction.  That was different.  It definitely took me outside my comfort zone.

I do think  I need to focus my efforts a bit more and choose maybe one or two projects to pursue full force.  I guess I'm feeling passionate about my kids books and pursuing that.  I think perhaps its because I have children of my own now.  I also really enjoy writing poetry, but I know this isn't really popular amongst the masses.  Though, my poetry is definitely not pretentious (in my humble opinion).  I actually think we need to make poetry more accesible to people.  I often think people are scared of it or find it boring, so they avoid it.  Perhaps if poets made more of an effort to make their work relatable, then it would have more readership.  I don't know.  I'm just rambling on and typing anything that comes to mind.  Anyway, I guess I'm just trying to flesh out what my next move is.
What to pursue?!  The possibilities are truly endless.  I think I need to do a bit more reflecting and "soul searching" and go from there.

Please feel free to share your thoughts or insights!  Anyone?  Anyone?  Bueller, Bueller....If you have a thought, just add it to the comments section.  I would love to hear from you.

In the meantime, I am going to leave you with a list of books/literary works that I consider some of my favorites. Perhaps reflecting on these will help me make some decisions.  In no particular order...

"She's Come Undone" by Wally Lamb
"I Know this Much is True' by Wally Lamb
"The Awakening" by Kate Chopin
"The Count of Monte Cristo" by Alexandre Dumas
"Sloppy Firsts" by Meagan McCafferty
"The Tipping Point" by Malcom Gladwell
"Where the Sidewalk Ends" by Shel Silverstein
"Wuthering Heights" by Emily Bronte
"Me Talk Pretty One Day" by David Sedaris
"Naked" by David Sedaris
"Dry" by Augusten Burroughs
"Magical Thinking" by Augusten Burroughs
"A Sad State of Freedom" by Nazim Hikmet (a poem)
"The Catcher in the Rye" by J.D. Salinger
"The Hunger Games Trilogy" by Suzanne Collins
"Eleanor and Park" by Rainbow Rowell
"Cherry" by Mary Karr
"The Jolly Postman" by Allan Ahlberg and Janet Ahlberg (a children's book)
"The Alchemist" by Paulo Coelho

Adulthood: Mama Needs a Clean Pair of Underwear

I need to get this off my chest.  It's shameful, embarrassing and yet I feel the need to share it with someone. Perhaps I need some sort of validation that I'm not crazy or alone. Ok, here it goes.  Sometimes I wear bathing suit bottoms as underwear because I don't have any clean laundry.  Sadly I am a 31 year old, mother of two, working at an Ivy League institution and at times I wear bikini bottoms under my clothing.  What is wrong with me?!

As I'm confessing this, I wonder at what point in my life, if at any, will I reach a point where I don't do things like this. I would have thought that I’d have outgrown this type of behavior by now.  But, desperation sets in and it seems better than going commando.  

It's a miracle I even have bikini bottoms because there is no way in hell I would be caught dead in a two- piece bathing suit (thank you very much stretch marks that could be mistook for 3rd degree burns).  But I digress... 

I guess the real reason I bring this up is because lately I’ve been contemplating the true measure of an adult. When do you leave behind certain adolescent/juvenile behaviors and become a real grown up?

Growing up I had notions of what being an adult and parent actually meant.  Adults/parents are responsible, boring, even tempered, clever, etc.  They never swear, don't do drugs and seem to have the answers to all of the world’s problems.  At least that’s what I thought.  So it follows that I assumed that once I made that passage from childhood to adulthood (for me I assumed it was when I became a parent), than I too would miraculously become a stand up citizen who confidently charges through the world balancing family life with career and enjoying an enriching and RESPONSIBLE existence.  Unfortunately, this didn't quite work out the way I thought it was going to.  Below are five things that I thought would change once I became a adult and mother.  

The Foundations of Hate

I hate ketchup, quinoa, books by Orwell, Cracker Barrel restaurants and Bill O'Reilly. On a real bad day I hate everyone.  And now, my two-year old son hates bananas. He didn't always hate bananas. In fact, in the past I would have gone so far to say that he loved bananas. He would eat them with gusto. Whether plain, on toast, or in fruit salads, he really enjoyed them. He would even request them without prompt,

"Mommy, can I have a banana?"

What kid asks for fruit? Why not a chocolate chip cookie?

So, you can imagine my shock the other day when I handed him a bagel with mushed bananas on it, and he pushed it away as he told me,

"I hate bananas."

At first I assumed I misheard him. He's only two and his speech is understandably indecipherable at times. Nevertheless, I was sure there was no possible way he actually said he hated bananas. A two-year old doesn’t comprehend hate. So I pressed on and tried to hand him his plate again. This time he responded more vehemently,

"I don't want it. I HATE bananas!"


Despair. Now there was no denying what he said. So I said to him,

"Sweetie, what do you mean?"

Even though he used the word, I knew it must be a fluke that he used it in the proper context.

His response to me,

"I don't like them!"

His tone indicated that I obviously have inferior mental capabilities. I even think I caught him rolling his eyes. The subtext was clear, “Duh Ma, what do you think I mean when I say hate?”


I know toddlers are notorious for repeating things and most of the time it's things that you wish they wouldn’t. But his use of this particular word and the fact that he said it with such fervor and disdain, made me want to crawl up into a ball and cry. Am I being dramatic? Yes. But in that moment I realized hate had been added to his arsenal of vocabulary words, and it was also clear he had a firm grasp of its definition.  Most alarmingly, I realized I was the source, the teacher.

I generally consider myself a tolerant and kind-hearted person. I’ve always been accepting of all people regardless of age, race, sexuality, and ethnicity. In fact, I made a career out of emphasizing the importance of learning about other cultures, understanding other people. That being said, when it comes to strong opinions, when I dislike something, my knee jerk reaction is to say I hate it. I say it without pause, without reflection.  It spews out of my mouth easily and freely. And though I’ve attempted to curb swear words since the birth of my children, I never gave thought to my usage of hate.

Some people may think I am overreacting, and perhaps I am. I hope so. But I can’t help but think that perhaps I’ve laid the seedlings of hate and intolerance in my son’s psyche. First it’s bananas, but what’s next? Will he hate classmates if they don’t share the ball on the playground? Will he hate Mrs. Smith if she gives him a B instead of an A? Can hate metastasize? Who’s to say where it begins and ends?

I learned an important lesson the other day. I definitely need to restrict my use of the word hate, but I also need to reflect on my use of it. Do I really hate things and people? Hate is a strong word. Hate has caused world wars, genocide and entire social movements. It certainly can’t and shouldn’t be taken lightly. Upon further examination I realize that I don’t particularly like ketchup, quinoa, books by Orwell, Cracker Barrel restaurants and Bill O'Reilly. But I don’t hate them. And to tell you the truth, on most days I even like everybody and everything. Now that’s something I hope I can pass on to my son.

The Pursuit of Happiness and Writing

Hi Everyone!  My name is Jess and I have been meaning to write this blog post for a couple of months now.  You see, a few months ago I had an epiphany, a 'come to Jesus moment' when I decided that I wasn't living the life I wanted to live.  I was feeling unfulfilled in my job and needed a creative outlet. My overall discontent was taking a toll on my soul.  So, after hours of quiet meditation, some bitching and moaning and lots of tears, I decided if I wanted a change in my life than I was the only one who could make it happen and I had to do it now!  Essentially I needed to quit whining and start living the life I wanted to live.

This led me to assess my true passion in life.  Deep down I have always known what that is, but had buried it under the drudgery of everyday life.  My passion, my true calling is writing.  For some reason (which I will delve into at another time), I never realized I could actually make a life and career out of writing.  It was always a hobby, a guilty pleasure.  It was something I did but never really shared with people.  But, during my life reassessment I decided that writing is my sustenance.  It is the fuel to my fire.  I decided that I needed to pursue it at all costs. 

In order to transition from closeted writer to published author, I realized I had to do a lot of homework.  So I went to the library and feverishly started reading books about getting published, becoming an author, etc. etc.  One book in particular that served as a great motivation and virtual kick in the pants was "How to Become A Famous Writer Before Your Dead: Your Words in Print and Your Name in Lights", by Ariel Gore.  I highly recommend it for anyone who wants to truly pursue writing and to get published.  Her insights were eye opening and her advice invaluable.  

Anyway, I'm getting off track.  Basically after doing quite a bit of research about the path to getting published, I decided that I was going to chronicle my pursuits on this here blog.  It was going to serve as a platform to share the trials and tribulations of my journey to becoming a published author.  That was approximately three months ago and I'm only today writing my first blog post.  The reason?  Life and writing got in the way and I mean that in the best way possible!  I went full force sending out queries, book proposals, entered writing contests, etc.  And guess what happened?  People actually responded to me.   

When I was searching for publishers that would accept unsolicited book proposals for children's books, I came across an amazing publisher:  Quirk Books.  I'm sure you have read one of their books at one time or other.  Well, Quirk doesn't publish children’s books, but I did notice that they encourage unsolicited proposals and actually enjoy slush!  That led me to sending them a book proposal that I thought they might be interested in.  It wasn’t what I had intended on pursuing for my first foray into the publishing world, but I thought it would be up their alley.  Well, within a week I got a response and they said they were intrigued and wanted to see some samples. Hallelujah!  Amen, it's a miracle! 
I wasn't expecting any response, never mind one so quickly.  Fast forward a couple of weeks later... They ultimately weren't interested in pursuing my idea further.  However, their kindness and feedback gave me the validation I needed to continue my writing pursuits.  They helped me realize that perhaps people may in fact be interested in what I have to write.  They confirmed that I could actually capture the attention of a legitimate publishing company!

From that point on I have been feverishly pursuing other leads, ideas and projects.  Most recently I submitted a short story to the Spark Anthology Contest.  I entered the McSweeney's Column Contest. I sent poems to the New Yorker. I wrote a blog entry and pitched it to the Huffington Post and submitted a snippet to my local newspaper (which they subsequently published).  I'm now looking for an illustrator to illustrate two childrens' books that I penned last month.  I want to self publish them.

It really has been a whirlwind and amazing journey thus far.  I feel like I have the momentum that I need to keep persevering.  I may not have entered the big leagues of publishing but I now feel validated in my quest to pursue my passion.  It’s like I have been magically granted permission to pursue what I want out of life and it’s invigorating. 

I know it’s not going to be easy and there are probably going to be more downs than ups and more rejections than acceptances.  But that’s ok.  So come join me on this wild ride and help me avoid the slush pile!

*Note:  This blog is not a showcase in editing.   It is mainly a place for me to record my thoughts about my writing pursuits and therefore I'm going to try not to stress about or put overemphasis on proper punctuation and grammar.  I'll save that for my submissions.  Thanks!